lets steal the moon

finally a day at home with nothing planned, just to be able to spend all day letting my thoughts flow through to my fingertips onto the keyboard of the mac. a new year is coming, so many things have happened this year, so many things are yet to be completed and so many lifestyle changes and bad habits are to be altered. to be honest if someone had asked me what i did this year, i would probably just stare at them blankly and not know what to say. this year has gone by so fast, its only until december that we suddenly panic a little as realise that the year has gone by past us so fleetingly.

i can honestly say im going to need a complete overhaul in 2011. no more being lazy, no more being hypocritical, focus more on my goals and even though it is completely selfish, i need to sort out my own priorities and look after myself more. its time to realise that i need to fly my own plane and not let other external forces influence where i decide to land. no one is going to be there directing for me where the safest path is and there will not be blinkers on the runway as means of instructions as to how i should prepare for the future.

im not saying i havent learnt a lot this year though, and sometimes it wasnt through the easiest of ways. breakdown of friendships, doing not so well for my course, loosing track of my goals... im not complaining though, going through all of this only saves me having to make the same mistakes again down the track, where i might be older and making changes arent so easy as they are now since im still young. for next year, i need to sort out where my course is going to take me and work hard at it, graduate with the right amount of experience and land a job that i'd be content with. prepare my longterm plans of living arrangements and a suitable part time job. hopefully ill be able to mend any broken relationships for which im partly responsible for.

and last of all, thankyou for making the last (almost) 8 months such a exciting rollercoaster ride, im pretty sure you know what im talking about when i say theme park haha. its like how you've said to me before that you dont regret meeting me no matter what happens in the future... well same goes for me too. i dont think ive ever felt this way about someone like how i feel about you, you've taught me so much. regardless for whatever that was said the other night baby all the best in canberra, whatever happens happens yeah? Lets wing it!

oh and baby, love is selfish. no matter how bad you dont want it to be.